Attachment Styles Explained
Attachment theory helps explain why we connect the way we do - in friendships, romantic relationships, and even at work.
Where It Starts
Your attachment style forms in early life, based on how your caregivers responded to your needs. While these patterns start in childhood, they can show up throughout adulthood.
The Four Main Styles
- Secure - You trust that people will be there for you. Comfortable with closeness and independence.
- Anxious - You crave connection but fear being abandoned. May overanalyse or seek constant reassurance.
- Avoidant - You value independence and may pull back when things get too close.
- Disorganised - A mix of anxious and avoidant patterns, often linked to inconsistent or frightening caregiving.
Can You Change Your Style?
While you might not fully erase old patterns, you can become more secure through self-awareness, healthy relationships, and therapy.
Why It Matters
Understanding your style isn’t about labelling yourself - it’s about recognising your patterns so you can respond differently when they’re unhelpful.
Compromising in Relationships Without Losing Yourself
Healthy relationships require give and take, but there’s a difference between compromising and abandoning yourself. What Healthy Compromise Looks Like * Both people’s needs are acknowledged and valued * Each person sometimes bends, but neither breaks * The solution feels fair and sustainable * Boundaries are respected even when they differ The
Rachel Shaw
When Friendships Change During Healing (And How to Handle It)
One of the quieter challenges of healing is that it can shift your relationships, sometimes in ways you didn’t expect. Why Friendships Change As you grow, your priorities, boundaries, and values may shift. Some friends will celebrate that growth with you; others may feel uncomfortable or left behind. It’
Rachel Shaw
