The Feel–Understand–Nurture Approach to Emotional Processing

When emotions feel overwhelming, it’s tempting to shut them down or get stuck analysing them. My Feel–Understand–Nurture approach is a gentle, three-step way to work through feelings without getting lost in them.

Step One: Feel

Start with the body. Ask yourself: What do I feel physically?

Is there tension, warmth, pressure, heaviness? Name the sensations without rushing to explain them. If you can, name the emotion too: sadness, anger, relief, joy.

Step Two: Understand

Get curious about where the feeling comes from and ask:

What happened just before I felt this?
Is this about the present moment, or is something deeper being stirred?
Have I felt this way before in similar situations?

Understanding doesn’t mean justifying. It’s about connecting the dots so you can respond in a way that makes sense for you.

Step Three: Nurture

This is where you ask: What do I need right now?

It could be rest, a conversation, journaling, movement, or simply permission to feel what you feel. The key is responding with care rather than criticism.

Why It Works

This process gives you space to experience emotions fully while staying grounded. Over time, it teaches your mind and body that feelings aren’t dangerous - they’re information.

To see how this fits into a bigger picture, explore [Your Nervous System Is Not the Enemy] or read [Healing Isn’t Linear].

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