Your Nervous System Is Not the Enemy: Learning to Work With It

When your heart’s racing, your chest feels tight, or you can’t stop overthinking, it can feel like your body is working against you. But your nervous system isn’t trying to ruin your day, it’s trying to protect you.

Why It Reacts the Way It Does

Your nervous system’s job is to keep you safe. It constantly scans for danger, often without you even realising. The trouble is, it doesn’t always know the difference between a real threat and a reminder of something difficult from the past.

That’s why you might find yourself panicking before a presentation, shutting down in an argument, or feeling restless for no clear reason.

The Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn

Many people know about the “fight or flight” response, but your body has more than two settings:

Fight – ready to face the threat head-on
Flight – needing to escape or avoid
Freeze – shutting down, feeling stuck or numb
Fawn – people-pleasing to keep the peace

Each one is your body’s attempt to protect you, even if it feels unhelpful in the moment.

Working With Your Nervous System

Instead of forcing yourself to calm down, try supporting your body through the state it’s already in:

If you’re in fight or flight, physical movement can help discharge the energy (walking, stretching, shaking out your hands).
If you’re in freeze, small grounding actions can help (touching a textured object, noticing five things you can see).
If you’re in fawn, pause before responding and ask yourself: What do I actually want to say?

Learning these cues builds trust between you and your body.

For more on deepening that connection, see [How to Actually Listen to Your Body] or explore my [Feel–Understand–Nurture Approach].